Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Time Heals
It was a very busy day as well and I had no time to think about anything else. Straight after work, sorting the dog walk and our evening meal out, I went with girlie friend 1 to the 2nd Yoga class of this term. The class went well and got me calmed down but later in the evening I couldn't stop myself getting tearful. I was trying to think why I was down and depressed. Then I remembered. It was the 3rd anniversary of my friend's death. I was ashamed that I forgot but did I? I think my subconscious didn't forget and that is why I was sad all day.
There was a time when the thought of not having my friend seemed absurd but when people are taken away from us we get used to living without them, don't we? Of course we don't forget them but the memories do fade with passing of time. Should we feel ashamed or guilty for letting the memory fade?
died 4 years back, I
miss her madly and in
a funny fucked sort of
way 'Ruth' is M (with
out the lezzie stuff,
mad stuff, blonde hair!)
Just a little person I loved
very much who was incredibly
manipultive but sweet.
But if I held onto the grief
at it's intense level I
would not be able to function.
Not a day goes by when I don't
think of M,or am reminded
of her in some small way.
I think the mind protects you
by lessening the pain over
time. It's not that we
forget, it's just we don't
feel the intensity.
Oh and little one asked me
if I was still alive when
the Romans were around today.
Cheers son.
Oh tell the Lit'ln that his Mum wasn't but auntie Butterfly feels as if she was alive when the Romans were around!
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