butterflyuk

Work tomorrow morning and going away straight after lunch time. Nothing packed yet. As usual I am trying to clear and clean every thing before tomorrow. That is just plain stupid isn’t it?

I booked this week off for certain reasons and now those reasons are not there so I could do without going but people say that I need to take time away from work. I have never had a day off not doing any work for a very long time. Going to see mum and taking weeks off doesn’t really count because it is strictly not a holiday and I am not doing nothing or my own thing. I did have some time in Dubai on the way back but that was part of the same package – kind of different location to the same package.

This is a traditional holiday. A time taken off for no special reason. Instead of anticipation, the thought of 7 days without work panics me. Just imagine how much I could cover and get up to date if I take a week off to catch up on work! Only positive thing for this week is that I will be giving Sickie and the doggie my full attention. In Sickie’s case it may not be a positive thing. He will soon get fed up of me.LOL.

At times I feel that people I care for shouldn’t ask for difficult things from me, especially when they know it is difficult for me. I hate to refuse a favour but there are some things that are just not done. Girlie friend no. 2 is asking for a favour but I don’t feel I could help out without making myself unhappy. There is no real need for that favour. If a friend is in trouble then I would do anything to help out. In this case it is just greed or indulgence and I don’t want to be a party to it. She is not the one to take no for an answer. Although I am easily manipulated at times I think once I reach my limit I could be very strong. I am proud of myself that I have not budged. She has just left the last text calling me a witch but who cares? Well I do but I am not giving in.

I feel a little depressed. I think when you are so tired and so empty because the world has taken it all out of you during the day and when you start thinking about how you couldn't do fair things to everyone you ideally want to do because it is not in your hands at times - that is when you feel down - at night when no one knows and you can hear all your thoughts.

Can you hear them too?