butterflyuk

It’s 3.30 in the morning and I am up. Couldn’t sleep. Only went to bed three hours earlier! Perhaps because I am full of chest cold and cough and have got a bad headache. Perhaps because all sorts of things are going in my mind and none of those are the solutions to any of those things. There is nothing wrong. Everything seems to be ticking over steadily so why do I feel empty?

It seems that my life is no further forward than it was six months ago. Then again lots of things have happened in the last six months. I have had good fun and done some worthwhile things. Had a good time at the Conference only a couple of weeks ago. So why do I feel that I am just existing for the sake of existing? Am I the kind of person who needs constant external stimulation in life? It hasn’t been bad lately. Not had that many problems. Is that why I am feeling stale? Why can’t I just accept the life as it is and be content with it? Do I always have to have things going on and targets to achieve? I need to learn to let go the chase of getting somewhere and to someone who is not there. How do I do that?