butterflyuk

After a lot of whinging and putting a stone on in weight (on top of the few tonnes acquired previously) I have come to reiterate my belief that being emotionally open doesn't make me inferior to someone who may call themselves "strong" or "in control". By the way I defy an Indian saying which translates that worry and unhappiness is like a funeral pyre, it burns you to your bones. If I am unhappy I get fat! Most people can't eat when they are worried or sad. I am opposite - I comfort eat. Going back to one of the reasons of my raised emotion was that I was feeling guilty for me being myself - the way I am. Why should I?

I could be wrong but it seems to me that an English person born and brought up here is a little aloof, untouched, self-centered and self-preserving where emotions are concerned compared with some other cultures. Perhaps I am not explaining this very well. Sure people are self-preserving by nature. What I am trying to say is that I find that as a race English are less emotional or may be they are emotional but they do not show them.

Then again some of my friends who are born and brought up here but are open to show their emotions. I think it is the way people are brought up makes them open or "closed". People who have had a hard upbringing probably keeps their emotions in check. If there were problems in childhood when they grow up they probably keeps things to themselves as a learnt behaviour. Could they do it for self preservation in case letting their true self out might make them vulnerable? Do they think it is a sign of weakness to let go?

Even at a loved one's funeral the English try to stay composed. I am sure it takes a very strong will to stay in control when your world around you may have collapsed. I admire those people for their control but we call that their dignity. Why is it not dignified to let yourself go? What is wrong in being yourself?

OK, I digressed. My qualm was with the stone-faced, stone-hearted, self-controlled and self-preserving robots who are in fact frightened of someone seeing them for what they truly are. To hide their shortfall they make you feel weak for being a human.