butterflyuk

I have got a whistle that only dogs can hear - so they say. I bought it to stop myself look and sound like a fish-wife first thing in the morning when I am shouting for the dog to come back from her walk so that I can get to work on time. I try to blow my lungs into this whistle thing but I have been unsuccessful in looking like a cultured, sophisticated, and masterful and in command dog owner. The dog looks up to the whistle thing in my mouth from far away, squinting her eyes (probably cataracts coming on), realises that it is not a piece of food so carries on mooching on the ground.

Now we are blessed with a device that only certain age group can hear. I am all for trying out new things. I wonder if the local council will give grants or the bank manager will arrange an overdraft for the purchase. (Being sarcastic by the way).

I have a CCTV inside and outside so that I can watch the pea brains trying to destroy my property by writing on it, puking on it or kicking it.

It was suggested earlier that I could have bright spot lights and a tape recording that come on automatic when two legged dogs are watering my walls - in spite of coming out of the pub with toilets only four steps away.

Now to make my life dull and peaceful by taking all the stress and anxiety away on Friday and Saturday nights brought on by the young Salfordians' group hanging around the said property; a new device has been invented. I will have nothing to do if they stop sitting on my step drinking, breaking glass bottles, shouting, screaming, fighting, banging on the door, eating pie and chips and putting some in the letter box for solidarity and scattering rubish outside.

Mr. Howard Stapleton at the age of 12 wondered why he could not bear the noise from high frequency welding equipment in a London factory while other older workers didn't hear a thing. As a result we have this device called Mosquito that emits a high-frequency pulsing sound that is designed to irritate, annoy and disperse the gangs of youths hanging outside shops and places.

That is so unfair. What will the poor dears do if they can’t annoy other people while their parents are having a bit of social life in the pubs?

I did get off the right side of the bed in the morning, honest.