butterflyuk

Blimey, you are away just for a few days and you end up getting insulting messages in your comments box! Yes, exactly, what a bl..dy cheek! Advancing my life! If I advanced my life any more it would go round the universe a third time! I never wanted to do Masters even when there was a right time so why would I want to do it now? I am probably earning more money than the idiot who wrote it anyway. As for knowledge there is much more about the purpose of life I want to understand that cannot be learnt in the books.

If he had read my blog he would have known that I have so much on my plate that I have no time for any more. May be my blog lacks the style and literary excellence so I am being directed to an improvement? Well, I am writing my thoughts in my blog. I don’t have to prove to anyone if it is readable or not. Aha, may be because the list of my interest says learning new things.

Aren’t I being touchy and defensive? I think it is the aftermath of Mr. Bug. Isn’t it amazing that when you body is down you mind also gets weaker? Last week I was watching Michael Palin’s Sahara. First I was upset thinking what the poor camels must be feeling being used without any choice. Then I choked while Michael was saying good byes to his travel companions. Then it was the last episode of Born and Bred. I never bothered with the previous series. This time I saw it by chance. Why should I be so upset about it? I am sure it was the bug making me soft.

I have a kind of phobia about loosing people I care about. I hate parting forever. I may not see people or talk to them all my life but as long as I know they are there then its ok. The thought of not be able to contact someone close to me ever again seems to send me in panic. I get this panic feeling that I don’t have enough time to tell them things or be with them and that I am all alone. This comes on only when I am run down or ill though. At that time logical thinking just disappears.

Luckily I am also very strong in other ways and at least I can see my weakness and admit it. It’s partly come from not having anyone near enough for support, loosing my dad and my best friend and worrying about Sickie. Yep let’s blame the others as usual. LOL.

Thank you girls for keeping me company even when I wasn’t writing.

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