Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Go alone
I hate everything and everyone today. Taking the theme of my previous posting, if you love someone then would you not want to be with them every time it is possible? O.K. May be love is a strong word. Even if you like someone or care for someone you would want to take a chance to be in their company, wouldn't you?
Usually I don't have any opportunity to do anything I want to, I mean just normal things like hanging out together,go out, have a meal, drink, chat and relax. Surely there are thousands of people out there who want to do the same things I want to do.
I am going to be away just for one day and it would have been nice to add on some social activity with the business. Can I find anyone who would fit in with me? A Big fat NO! When people talk of "care and affection and enjoy being with you" is all just that, talk. Mind you, partly it's my fault too. I only want to be with people I want to be with, not just anybody. It seems that they are just too out of my reach. Perhaps I choose wrong friends.
It is not going to stop me though. I will still do all that I want to, on my own. Only problem is, that for me, enjoyment is company, doing things together, planning it, talking about it, reminisce about it afterwards. It's not same when you are alone.
Life is nothing but a trade, a give and take. Noone does anything for nothing - so it seems. People just want fun. I am afraid I cannot do just that. I have to find deeper meanings from it. why can't I be sensible and enjoy materialistic pleasure like others? Take things as they are? Why do I fall for the face in front of me? I mustn't take everything at face value. I mustn't believe everything people say. There seems to be a big difference between saying and doing.
Like my mum say, "you came in this world alone and you will go from here alone so why get upset yourself for being alone? You be strong, you don't need anyone." ----but I do mum I do.
Usually I don't have any opportunity to do anything I want to, I mean just normal things like hanging out together,go out, have a meal, drink, chat and relax. Surely there are thousands of people out there who want to do the same things I want to do.
I am going to be away just for one day and it would have been nice to add on some social activity with the business. Can I find anyone who would fit in with me? A Big fat NO! When people talk of "care and affection and enjoy being with you" is all just that, talk. Mind you, partly it's my fault too. I only want to be with people I want to be with, not just anybody. It seems that they are just too out of my reach. Perhaps I choose wrong friends.
It is not going to stop me though. I will still do all that I want to, on my own. Only problem is, that for me, enjoyment is company, doing things together, planning it, talking about it, reminisce about it afterwards. It's not same when you are alone.
Life is nothing but a trade, a give and take. Noone does anything for nothing - so it seems. People just want fun. I am afraid I cannot do just that. I have to find deeper meanings from it. why can't I be sensible and enjoy materialistic pleasure like others? Take things as they are? Why do I fall for the face in front of me? I mustn't take everything at face value. I mustn't believe everything people say. There seems to be a big difference between saying and doing.
Like my mum say, "you came in this world alone and you will go from here alone so why get upset yourself for being alone? You be strong, you don't need anyone." ----but I do mum I do.
# posted by butterflyuk : 3/02/2005 10:30:00 pm
Comments:
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Jeez-quite a rant! I
know what you mean. It's
hard sometimes, but I think
other days it's easier to
cope and you feel better
in yourself. Hope you have
a better time coming up to
make up for it!
know what you mean. It's
hard sometimes, but I think
other days it's easier to
cope and you feel better
in yourself. Hope you have
a better time coming up to
make up for it!
LOL..cheeky...calling my self pity a "rant"...made me laugh though..it is an absolute rant I admit but you will get used to it. I am too spoilt to take no for an answer so when I don't get my own way I go on and on and on...lol.
Sorry! I didn't mean
to be an insensitive
cow! As you can tell
by my blunt buff-ness,
I work with the public!
to be an insensitive
cow! As you can tell
by my blunt buff-ness,
I work with the public!
No need for sorry. "Jeez-quite a rant" is funny and cute. Actually I was going to say "cheeky cow"- lol- but left it for the next time. I think anyone who works with public deserves a medal (inc. me).
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