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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Being Emotional

Is it so bad to be emotional? All my life I have felt strong emotions and feelings about the things, people, events and such things that mattered to me. I have always said that I prefer to experience feelings to the full rather than shy away from them.

I have always received abundant love from my mum, brother and sister but they are not in this country. I am a people's person and feel happy when connected although I like my independence. When the circumstances allowed and a few friendship that I managed to create has provided me with an excellent emotional support. Apart from suffering from extreme sadness for the bad things that happens in life and having panic attacks when facing the fear of losing important people in life, I have enjoyed euphoric happiness and good emotions too. At times I have connected to the friends who also feel similar things and at time a little less neverthless I have never been made to feel guilty for my emotions till now.

Why is it that some friendships are so on a rollercoaster from day 1? Why is it that I still can't get off a rollercoaster? If someone doesn't understand or can't handle emotions then that must be their shortcoming and not my fault. How long can this go on where everything that's said just snowballs into more and more emotions?

Why are some people more emotional than others? I didn't chose to be like this. I can perhaps control them and not show them but I can't stop feeling them. If I don't say what I feel and control my feelings to suit others then that makes me a false person - that is not me so I can't be happy with myself. People have to take me for myself if they want to know real me but perhaps life would have been much more easier if I wasn't made the way I was made....LOL...come on tell me you understand what I am saying and please someone do tell me you are like this too and I am not an alien...LOL..

Comments:
I think it's cool that
you are emotional.Just
don't let others push
you're buttons and
everything is dandy.
 
Learning the hard way Raine but learning...
 
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