butterflyuk

I worked Saturday morning so the bank holiday week-end perhaps wasn't as long as it has been for some. Most public holidays get me off balance and confused. I work double hard before the holiday and when I go back everything is off the schedule. During the holiday I get depressed because most of my people are doing their own family/personal things and I try to do - in a day or two - all those left over chores gathered for months. This time it was different. This week-end was dedicated to the friends.

Although I advised everyone I talked to on Saturday night about the clocks going forward when I woke up late on Sunday morning I forgot about it myself! Not to worry. With the little change of plan I forgot the hour that I had forgotten anyway.

Went for a nice walk with the dogs and a friend who was sneezing and spluttering all over the green with a real bad cold.

Then for a drink and a lunch with another friend at the Quay House.. Had a great table with the view of the water and giggled our way through a big lunch.

Returned home to a waiting, very dear friend with his add-on, who at last seem happy and stable. It makes me so happy when I see my friends peaceful and settled.

Watched DVD's and got take away with two more friends who had been away for a couple of months.

The week-end is over and the stress has already began. Just sorting the staff rota out and the next two weeks are going to be very bad. One is coming back from a week's sick leave and another one just phoned in sick!

I have just realized that all the bundles of paperwork I brought with me from work on Saturday is still sitting here on my desk unopened! I am panicking now. This work should have been done and a cloud of gloom starting to build up but I am feeling more sad about not receiving an email or a call or a text that I should have by now. It's always me who makes the first move with this friend. Not this time. If they value the friendship then they should nurture it too, don't you think?

Why is it that I can't let it go? No matter how hard words I use or how much I pretend I don't care or how much I think logically, deep inside I still wait and still want - knowing that perhaps it is not worth it anyway. A friendship shouldn't be so difficult, should it? Then again is it worth losing it by being stubborn and proud?