butterflyuk

Here we go....I feel sad and down again. I should not feel that way. I had a wonderful company, good food, enough alcohol, excellent accommodation, responsive conversation, full care and attention. Been looking forward to it for a long time and it went as planned, very enjoyable, nearly perfect. So why do I feel sad and low? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be happy? Why do I get this feeling that something is missing? What do I really want? Why can't I find an answer to my question from myself?

Perhaps I think too much and make mountains out of molehills. Perhaps I want everything perfect, not just nearly perfect. Perfect to my own ideas, which may really not be perfect for someone else. Perhaps it is just all the high charged up energy and flattening effect afterwards. Could I coming down with some infection? My eyes are itching! When I have infection my mental capacity also lowers making me depressed.

I normally say that I like my intense emotions. They may seem extreme to someone else but I rather feel everything to the full but I may be wrong. It might be better, safer not to be too emotional. Shame I can't turn them on and off.