butterflyuk

I wanted to go to London for the week end but I could not leave my dependents, a person and a dog, on their own. Last time I had some help so my guilty feeling were lessened. Ok it is straight forward. I had a choice (did I really?) either I go and let them fend for themselves or I don't go because I cannot accept that situation. I cannot let the down, whose living, comfort, well being, happiness depend on me. They have nothing else in their life except me. Problem with me then is that I get depressed. I want to go and do my things. I want to enjoy my life but if I go then I still will be sad. I am in a situation where whatever I do, I will feel unhappy. Is this my fault? Is this my weakness? Does anyone feel like this? Does anyone understand? I have decided to go in the morning and come back at night. Perhaps a middle way. Even then I am worried.

Some people see it like black and white, one way or the other. You chose one and then forget the other one. I cannot see it that way. I make a choice but still feel sorry for letting the other option go. I should not do that but I do. I get told from time to time that either do something about a situation and get out or shut up and put up with it. I can't do either. I can't change it but I can't shut up either. I still want to moan and whines from time to time. Is it so bad? Can anyone think they might do it to? or can anyone tell me why am I like this and not like other strong people?